Metaphors appear in hindsight. At the time, they stand on their own, but hindsight turns them into insight. I find humor in the moment the reveal clicks, that slow, evolving realization of “I see what you did there.”
Following is simple, until you see that it’s not.
I trust God and know He is sovereign, yet I’m still surprised sometimes. I see His hand in things, and I see what I’m being taught through the experiences He delivers, but it doesn’t always feel linear or “fair,” maybe. Fair isn’t quite the right word. What I mean is that I feel, somewhere in me, like my way has a superior position. I know there is God’s perfect way, and then there’s everything else. I just struggle with needing to know the way in order to have direction. But His call isn’t for us to know; it’s for us to follow Him. That doesn’t require foreknowledge. It requires focus.
I learned that one day while traveling with someone. We were in two separate vehicles, and she wanted to follow me. It was a trip we’d made many times, but there was some security for her in following. As we drove, I kept trying to stay in her sight, but she’d get caught in traffic, drive too slowly and sometimes even pass me. At a certain point, I just drove on. When she was no longer behind me, I pulled onto the shoulder and waited. When I finally saw her again, I pulled out and went on to our destination.
She was furious, hurt that I hadn’t “kept up with her,” hadn’t adjusted my course to hers. It was perplexing to me at the time. She wanted to stay close to me by following, but would not adopt the pace, and it was strange to witness.
As I write this now, I see it as a metaphor for me. If I’m truly trying to follow, why am I passing the Lord? Why am I racing ahead of the God of the universe, who is running this whole reality? Am I impatient? Seeking power? Control? Yes, to all of them.
Following is actually a simple task: put what you’re following in front of you, keep your attention on it, and do whatever it does. But the act of following is a skill, and it requires constant focus.
The biggest challenge for me is being comfortable in that position and owning it. I struggle most when I seem to be stopped and don’t understand why. I’m also the questioning navigator, staring at the map and asking, “Hey, are you sure we’re going the right way?” to the One who created the roads and the journey I’m on.
So I need to check my faith:
Do I believe, or not?
Do I trust Him, or not?
Do I love Him, or not?
It isn’t binary. It’s a gradient, varying degrees of success mixed with failure, hopefully drifting toward the success side.
I’m not good at this. But I’m trying.
God, help me this day, and every day, to follow You better.
